The Best Footwear of All Time: 1st April Edition

1st April 2024 EDT FEATURES

The Best Footwear of All Time: 1st April Edition

Literally the most accurate and exhaustive list of the best footwear of ALL TIME. Don't @ us.

The Best Footwear of All Time: 1st April Edition

The footwear game is constantly evolving. The industry’s ebb and flow has resulted in brands stepping up the technology in their shoes while trying to either do something new altogether or reimagine design languages that already work. Undoubtedly, in the sea of stiff competition, there are gems that stand out—and hopefully, also stand the test of time.

This year, on 1 April, the SNKRDUNK staff have put their heads together to create a pretty exhaustive list of literally the best footwear in the world of all time. Our decision is final. If you disagree with even one of the items on this list, your taste in footwear is, at the very least, questionable.

So, without further delay: here are SNKRDUNK’s selection for the BEST FOOTWEAR OF ALL TIME:

■ Cactus Plant Flea Market x Nike Flea 1 “Grinch/Overgrown”

Charles: As Pablo Picasso himself said: “good artists borrow, great artists steal.” And that’s exactly what Cynthia Lu of Cactus Plant Flea Market is—a great artist. Fighter jets and cars have inspired many of Tinker Hatfield’s Air Jordan designs; likewise for Bruce Lee’s black and yellow Game of Death costume.

But a shoe inspired by certain traits is one thing, and a shoe that embodies the essence is another. The very difference between “borrowing” and “stealing”.

And the Cactus Plant Flea Market x Nike Flea 1 “Grinch/Overgrown” is the embodiment of the eponymous Grinch. It can’t be associated with anything else, no matter how one tries. And that’s the beauty of it. The faithfulness and the purity of its reproduction.

■ Balenciaga Reptile Sneaker

Dickson: Some may argue that Demna’s Balenciaga represents a social experiment, yet in truth, fashion itself often serves as an experimental platform. With the release of their latest Reptile sneaker, one can’t help but ponder, “What exactly are these?”

However, upon closer inspection, they undeniably embody the classic Balenciaga sneaker design ethos. Drawing inspiration from previous models, notably the Track series, this latest iteration expands—quite literally—on the contemporary aesthetic.

Featuring a mesh foundation with deconstructed overlays, accented by metallic details and a robust sole unit, it’s the elongated toe box that truly stands out, echoing the reptilian theme.

While some may find them unattractive, Balenciaga celebrates the unconventional, finding beauty in what others perceive as ugly.

■ Big Baller Brand ZO2.19 “Lilac”

Weijun: Many have called Big Baller Brand CEO LaVar Ball a “mad genius”—but we’d rather focus on the “genius” part of that moniker. With him at the helm, BBB has churned out banger after banger—and the ZO2.19 sneakers might very well be the best of the bunch.

Let’s take a look at the ZO2.19’s standout colorway: the “Lilac”. Don’t let its somewhat unassuming first impression put you off—this shoe is nothing short of revolutionary. Its full-grain nappa leather and plush genuine suede exterior ensure that the “Lilac” is more than worth its admittedly lofty price tag. After all, in LaVar’s own words, anyone who isn’t willing to pay for truly world-class quality is “not a big baller”.

But we haven’t even begun to discuss the best part—its unmatched performance. The shoe’s outrigger provides tremendous stability for sideways movement. There’s also a forefoot strap for changes of direction as well as a specially-crafted foam for maximum cushioning and impact protection.

Want proof that the ZO2.19 is worth the hype? Just ask BBB’s signature athlete, LaVar’s son Lonzo who would be the first to tell you that this shoe forever changed the trajectory of his NBA career. Lonzo knows and is living proof that anyone who sticks with this shoe for the long haul will never be the same again.

■ VETEMENTS Hug Me Bear Slippers

Dickson: Bizarre, adorable, perhaps even unsettling—varied are the reactions to VETEMENTS’ Hug Me Bear Slippers. Yet, surprisingly, one can picture individuals donning these with pride.

Guram ingeniously elevated the concept of loungewear, bringing the beloved animal motif to new heights—or should we say, grounds—with this footwear design. Crafted meticulously in Italy from sherling, these slippers offer unparalleled warmth and comfort, complete with a convenient velcro fastening for the perfect fit.

While animal rights activists might raise objections, past animal-inspired designs have underscored a clear market demand.

However, if there’s anything that might deter potential buyers from snagging a pair of VETEMENTS Hug Me Bear Slippers, it’s undoubtedly the hefty US$2,000 price tag.

■ MSCHF BWD Shoe

Nashiya: Forget everything you know about defying gravity—the BWD Shoe by MSCHF is here to defy logic itself! This footwear revolution that turns heads, ankles, and the entire concept of direction on its feet boasts the revolutionary concept of a “backward shoe”, ensuring you’ll always be one step behind wherever you’re going (literally).

Adorned with 3M reflective striping for those night-time retreats, a gum sole that sticks to the past like a piece of old gum under a diner table, and a color scheme of white leather with pops of orange suede that screams, “I’m fashionably confused!”.

These bad boys are guaranteed to turn heads—especially when you explain why you’re walking heel-first into oncoming traffic. Because, as the profound quote stitched onto the shoe so eloquently states, “Life can only be understood backward but must be lived forwards,” so who needs to see where you’re going anyway, right?

Let’s face it, in a world of FWD Shoes, be the BWD Shoes. Because progress is overrated and we know you’re tired of always having to face the future head-on.

■ adidas The Kobe 2 “White”

Marc: Is it a car? A spaceship? Wait, a tissue box, perhaps? Nay—what you’re feasting your eyes upon are the adidas The Kobe 2 in “White”. Why GQ called this silhouette “the ugliest sneakers Kobe Bryant ever wore” is beyond us. Just look at this beaut.

Luxury is ensured thanks to the synthetic upper. The White, Silver, Black, and Grey color palette keeps the pair grounded and makes it perfect to rock on and off the court. The futuristic aesthetic of the shoe definitely put it ahead of its time, but it also means it can stand the test of time.

Picture fathers passing this sneaker down to their sons as a family heirloom. Patek Phillippe’s slogan might come to mind: “You never actually own a Patek Philippe. You merely look after it for the next generation.”

All things considered, it’s really a wonder why even Black Mamba himself was reportedly unhappy with the shoes. Curious, huh?

■ Nike Air Jordan 15 OG “Obsidian”

Keyshenn: Tinker Hatfield’s final Jordan masterpiece, the Nike Air Jordan 15, was a space-age “Marvel”, boasting alien-grade materials and a rocket-inspired design. But did it conquer the cosmos or crash and burn? Fashionistas compared it to a museum exhibit, while true sneakerheads used it as an anvil. But for some of us, it resonates close to home, to a particular home appliance which shall not be named.

Of course, true connoisseurs only wear the AJ15 off-court, just like Michael Jordan did back in the day, for fear of a mere dribble causing a singularity.

The holy grail of colorways? Definitely the “Obsidian” from 2017. The color-blocking on this statement piece is on point, simple yet efficient in bringing out the homemaker in all of us. It’s fair to say that the authenticity of the AJ15 silhouette will not be replicated anytime soon.

■ Gucci HA HA HA Boot “Beige”

Marc: Nothing quite as majestic as a horse’s mane. Now, you can have that on your feet with the Gucci HA HA HA Boot in Beige. Throw it on if you’re feeling regal, or perhaps if it’s cold and you need to keep warm in that Horsebit.

This pair is a collaboration between Gucci’s creative director, Alessandro Michele, and British pop star, Harry Styles. So no, they aren’t mocking us with the “HA HA HA” in the name—don’t worry, you’re not a fool for wanting to add this Chewbacca-looking shoe to your collection. Rather, it’s a cheeky take on Harry’s name. So go ahead and “blow” that sigh of relief.

■ Imran Potato Rat Slides

Charles: One of the reasons why they’re one of the best shoes ever made is how much help they would be to an introvert’s social life. The design would keep away people you wouldn’t want to be friends with, while functioning as the perfect ice-breaker, conversation starter for the people you would. It’s peacocking the way Mystery and Neil Strauss taught in The Game.

Moreover, it so closely resembles its inspiration, beyond just the aesthetics. A few hours in these shoes in the summer and you’ll have a scent almost as repugnant as the rats in the labyrinth below you. Every shoe designer has considered fashion and function, but many have left out how smell plays into the experience too.

So, what do you think of this lineup? In case you haven’t already figured it out—Happy April Fool’s Day 2024! Of course, we have better taste than this. If you require proof, just check out the features below for some real-deal lists.